We all know those people who are “too honest” for your own good, yes I said “your own good”. I tend to avoid them if possible. No matter how much we claim we want “honesty in our relationships”, the sugar-coated truth is more convenient. More often then not, we already know the truth, we just hope no one else figures it out and than blabs about it openly.
When someone asks, “Can I be honest with you?” My first thought is, “I’d rather walk across a room filled with Lego’s barefoot.”
But what comes out of my mouth? “Sure!”
We’re not fooling anyone. A majority of us have learned how to soften the blow but there are always those socially awkward people, who throw emotional commentary at you and call it “helping”. I call it unsolicited advice. If I’m talking to a close friend and ask them to be truthful, that’s one thing. However, if I don’t know you very well AND I never asked your opinion, your insights don’t interest me, they annoy me.
One day, after joking about some of the worst dates I’ve been on, I found myself on the end of some unsolicited advice. I’d like to say the individual had the best of intentions, but in the end it was an excuse to give me her opinion. After pulling me aside, the conversation went like this.
Her: “I was thinking about the struggles you’ve had with dating and I think you’d get more interested men if you change your hair. It’s too blonde.”
Me: “Wait… wuuuht?”
Her: “Yeah, that much blonde really makes your face look washed out, try adding in caramel highlights.”
Me: “I don’t think changing my appearance is going to make the guys I date less idiotic.”
She went on to say things like, “Have you asked your hairdresser what you should do? Have you always had the same style?”
No, I came out of the womb this awesome and never thought to consult a professional about it.
Clearly, the discussion was about me improving my appearance. However, it added insult to injury to equate horrible dates, to my current hairstyle and my washed out face. Apparently she hasn’t read my “Fuchsia Shorts” blog to know facial anonymity is what I desire. I assured her, getting a date is not my problem, finding a semi-normal person is. If a man is more concerned about the perfect ratio of blonde to caramel highlights in my hair, we have a completely different issue we should be discussing.
I was sure to thank her for the “self-esteem boost” before I left. I didn’t take what she said too seriously beyond the fact she had just wasted two minutes of my supposedly colorless life with this discussion. My next thought was, well this story will make a great blog. Honesty is hard to hear, no matter how good someone’s intentions are, but its downright irritating when you never asked for it to begin with.
What is the worst unsolicited advice you’ve received? Leave a comment in the box below.
Follow me on Twitter @lynncorey
Follow me on Facebook @thewritersjournal.net